Onam has not been fun for me for almost 20 years. Every year, this festival that I once looked forward to and loved, has turned into a social obligation that I had to power through. It has been triggering too many traumas, and no wonder, that this week has been more unsettling than ever. I… Continue reading Lead up to Onam
These two weeks have been nothing less than amazing. I have stopped my anti depressants. It is not that I am okay, but without the stress of my job, I find I am able to manage much better. Grief isn't something that leaves in a day, and even if there are days when I just… Continue reading Two weeks post retirement
I know it is necessary here, with how the Covid cases rising everyday and deaths too, but I'd forgotten how inconvenient a full lockdown was. One good thing is banks don't have to work every day. Three days a week with 50% staff and timings up to 2, so I had to go only one… Continue reading The travails of lockdowns
I haven't got a synopsis for RevPit yet, but there's still time? I've got my submission document ready for now. I'm also behind in my camp nano goals, so plans for the weekend is to catch up and maybe build up a buffer. Even though I'm behind on my goals, writing is still happening, and… Continue reading Weekend Plans
March is here, and so is summer. I keep plugging away at words, hoping that I might actually get somewhere with all this. I haven't finished Wizard's Debt yet, but hopefully I'll get to do it this month. March 4th was my son's birthday. He would have turned 18 if he had lived. It is… Continue reading March is here
Why are we still in February? lol. I feel like time isn't passing at all. Flame of a Dragon's Oath and Soul of Magic are with betas and it looks as if Soul of Magic might need a full rewrite. Ah well, time enough for that in the future, I guess. Memories of Forgotten Waves… Continue reading Still in February?
I am rather glad I started anti depressants, because my state of mind is much better. Not everything is hunky dory, of course, but there is hope now. I have increased the number of my WIPs to 48, and I think I'll stop there. It's a nice even number, just shy of fifty, and I'm… Continue reading One week or so later
This week has been different. I started anti depressants, and already I can feel the change. There is a bit of sleepiness, vagueness, inability to focus, and some slight physical issues as well, but for the first time in so long, life doesn't seem like an endless well of despair. I posted the final chapter… Continue reading Something new?
2021 doesn't seem all that different from 2020. In fact it might even be worse, I think. Odd numbered years had never been good for me. I've lost most of the people I loved in such years. My dad in 2007, my brother in law in 2009, my son in 2019, so I'm naturally wary… Continue reading Another Random Ramble
It is one year today since I lost my son, and I've been in a funk all week, crying at work, snapping at people, moping around and writing till my hands hurt. Nothing really helps. Nothing can fill the emptiness left behind by him. I took his name as my pen name, and seeing his… Continue reading Depressed pile of goo