Grishaverse, Life, Lockdown, Shadow and Bone, SPFBO, WIP, Writing

One Down, forty four to go

Finally, after cursing and stomping my feet and countless tantrums from my brain, I finished the first draft of Fiery Magic. I do feel accomplished right now.

The rewrite of Soul of Magic is going on. I hope I can get it finished this month. Fingers crossed.

I started a new WIP and a new fanfic. The fanfic is obviously Shadow and Bone, but I’m excited about the new WIP. I hope I’m able to do justice to my idea.

Finishing Fiery hasn’t reduced the number of my WIPs at all since I started a new one. So, still 44 remaining. I’m not sure I’ll be able to finish all these in this life time.

SPFBO starts next week, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed for Deathless Ones.

The lockdown is still continuing and my insomnia is worse than ever. I have to get up early tomorrow to get my second dose Covid vaccine too.

Why even life

Life, Lockdown, Random, Writing

More lockdowns and writings

The lockdown in our State is continuing, and we had triple lockdown in our district the last one week. The good part? Gave me time to write. I wrote 15k words in this one week, and I am rather proud of the effort.

Fiery Magic wasn’t moving forward, so I tried something new. I plotted. Yes. I did. I know. The world hasn’t ended. But it did rain heavily here for a few days. Anyway, it has helped. It is now moving forward, and I’m hopeful of finishing it by Monday at least.

I also started rewriting Soul of Magic. Yet to look at all the beta feedback to be honest, but I remember most of them saying this could be larger. Well, guess what? It is larger. Looks like my cute little novella is going to be a cute little novel.

I am also planning to take a second look at Colliding Forces. I hope that one doesn’t grow into a novel too. Or Bleeding Gold. Or WIzard’s Debt.

My sleep schedule has been thrown all out of whack during this lockdown even if I have work on some days. I have been getting up almost at afternoon, and unable to fall asleep in time during the night. Hopefully. I will be able to get things back to normal before the lockdown ends on the 30th.

In the meantime, there’s all the writing.

Child Loss, Depression, Life, Random

The travails of lockdowns

I know it is necessary here, with how the Covid cases rising everyday and deaths too, but I’d forgotten how inconvenient a full lockdown was. One good thing is banks don’t have to work every day. Three days a week with 50% staff and timings up to 2, so I had to go only one day this week with Work from Home the other two days.

Writing hasn’t been going well, largely due to the deaths happening in our organisation. Many people I know personally died, and I have so much fear for my friends and family.

SPFBO 7 opens today, and I’m submitting Deathless Ones and keeping all my fingers crossed. I haven’t got around to reading much after I finished the Grishaverse, but I might start something next week or so.

I had dreams about my son on most days, and most of the days I wake up wishing I hadn’t. Anti depressants can only do so much, and several nights I had lain awake wishing I were dead. Some days are harder than others and I know I just need to hang in there on those days, but it is so difficult.

I plan to get my writing back on track by this week. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Depression, Life, Nanowrimo, Random, WIP, Writing

Weekend Plans

I haven’t got a synopsis for RevPit yet, but there’s still time? I’ve got my submission document ready for now. I’m also behind in my camp nano goals, so plans for the weekend is to catch up and maybe build up a buffer.

Even though I’m behind on my goals, writing is still happening, and right now, that’s all I can ask for.

I’m also doing some editing for a friend, and hope she finds them useful.

I submitted my resignation at work. I’m planning to leave on July 31st. Many people including my mom is questioning my decision, but I have no doubts. There will be some financial insecurity and issues, but right now, I can’t deal with all the stress of this and everything else in my life. Something’s got to give and I’d rather not end up in the list of long line of bankers who have taken their lives due to stress of the job.

There are days when I feel like a complete failure, but hopefully such feelings will pass.

Right now, all I am thinking of is the weekend and all the writing I need to do.

Life, Nanowrimo, Random, WIP, Writing

April is Camp Nano

I did finish Wizard’s Debt in March. I have too many things to do in April, but I am hopeful that work being less stressful would help with that.

I also signed up for Camp nano. At this point, most of my nano projects are titled Miscellaneous. Which works since I never seem to be able to stick to one project.

The daily accountability of Camp helps a lot to keep me on track. I’m thinking I could continue to create projects in nano site and carry on with the process even when camp is over.

I am watching Hannibal. Binged most of the first season yesterday and I’m completely hooked. I ship Hannigram so much!!

Taking two days off work has helped me relax a lot. It is also helping me with writing. The writing targets don’t intimidate me as much as the editing and the applying beta notes and all that part.

Many people in my life, people I personally don’t even know, have supported my decision to quit the job to be a full time writer. For some reason, it has brought all my imposter syndrome to the fore. I feel like I need some external validation of my writing from people who have actually read my books.

Hopefully, this will pass in a few days.

Till then, I’ll just keep writing and even if it is trash, it is still my trash.

 

Life, Random, Writing

Some positives

I watched Zach Snyder’s Justice League today and I loved it. Mind you, I loved the 2017 movie, but even then I’d wanted the Snyder Cut and this one didn’t disappoint at all.

I also started watching Hannibal yesterday. Watched three episodes, and if not for watching JL, I would definitely have watched more of it.

Both were good distractions from the stress of work, and everything else. Also, it’s been a while since I was able to sit and watch something lasting more than an hour. Good sign, that.

Wizard’s Debt is slowly crawling along, but I’m hopeful of getting it finished soon. I finished the edits of both Banished Secret and Magical Mayhem, and now started on Curse of Souls.

I also joined a discord for covers, though I don’t know why since I am on a cover ban.

On the whole, in spite of all the depression, stress and feelings of worthlessness, there has been some good things this week.

Child Loss, Depression, Life, WIP, Writing

March is here

March is here, and so is summer. I keep plugging away at words, hoping that I might actually get somewhere with all this. I haven’t finished Wizard’s Debt yet, but hopefully I’ll get to do it this month.

March 4th was my son’s birthday. He would have turned 18 if he had lived. It is a hard time for me, and I just want this week to be over. It has been interminably long.

Work is going okay, usual stresses and strains, nothing exceptional, but I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop. This job is like being in an abusive relationship. Everything may look hunky dory right now, but you never know when the abuse is going to start back up; you only know that it will, sooner or later.

Writing is going at a snail’s pace, and even reading has slowed down a bit. This isn’t a week or a month that I want even to be alive. If only it were possible to die for a month, and spring back into life in April!

Some days, I have no hopes for the future, and I get through days by not thinking of it.

All the same, Wizard’s Debt is beginning to get interesting and Jeff has some interesting things in his past. Finishing this book is a future I can look forward to.

Life, Random, Writing

Some health scares and other things

The week started off with my gut trying to kill me. Spent a whole night, mostly puking mu guts out and unable to sleep. Had to take Monday off and couldn’t even enjoy the break, lol. Slept a bit during the day, though.

I did finish the first draft of the Curse of Souls as I had planned on Sunday before shit went down, so that’s something. Right now, Blue 2 is coming along nicely, and Wizard’s Debt is also looking good.

I have been reading a lot of gay romances, most of them short and enjoying myself thoroughly. I do have one beta read going on and I am enjoying that one immensely too.

I think I may need a developmental editor for Rage of Gods. It is such a mess. I hope once the first round of edits is done, it will at least be palatable to the developmental editor I hope to hire.

My gut still hasn’t returned to normal, and I feel nauseous very often. Hunger too has been remarkably absent, as has appetite. Hopefully, everything will get better in time.

 

Child Loss, Depression, Life, Random, WIP, Writing

Still in February?

Why are we still in February? lol. I feel like time isn’t passing at all. Flame of a Dragon’s Oath and Soul of Magic are with betas and it looks as if Soul of Magic might need a full rewrite. Ah well, time enough for that in the future, I guess.

Memories of Forgotten Waves have also got slowly longer, and now it looks as if it needs a whole new part to be complete. I’m taking it easy for now.

Curse of Souls has got to a point where I’m sure it’s winding to a close, but I can’t be sure. It will need some work, but hopefully I’ll be able to finish the first draft this weekend.

Life hasn’t been too different. The doctor upped the dosage of my meds again, but there still are days when I just want to sit and cry in a corner all day. I feel like I would sell my soul to get my son back even for an hour.

I finished reading Priory of the Orange Tree. Slow start, but once I got into it, I couldn’t put it down. It’s an excellent book, and I absolutely loved it. In the end, 800+ pages seemed too less.

I should write a review, and I will. Right now, I’m just getting through this, one day at a time.

Covers, Depression, Life, WIP, Writing

One week or so later

I am rather glad I started anti depressants, because my state of mind is much better. Not everything is hunky dory, of course, but there is hope now.

I have increased the number of my WIPs to 48, and I think I’ll stop there. It’s a nice even number, just shy of fifty, and I’m not sure when, if ever, I will finish them all. Many may end up discarded, but that’s a problem for future me. Past me and present me are just giggling like mad.

I finished my edits of Memories of Forgotten Waves, and realised I had a bit of rewriting to do if the plot is to make any sense and to have some cohesion. But I’m not touching that immediately. For now, I’m focussing on three of my WIPs, and hoping I can get them done in February.

I have made lists of all my WIPs, finished works, and what not, and have come to the conclusion that I really do not need any new covers till at least 2025. Hmm. Wonder if my addiction will listen to the voice of reason. MY ban is still in effect, though, and I’m staying away from all cover events for now.