Child Loss, Depression, Life, Random

The travails of lockdowns

I know it is necessary here, with how the Covid cases rising everyday and deaths too, but I’d forgotten how inconvenient a full lockdown was. One good thing is banks don’t have to work every day. Three days a week with 50% staff and timings up to 2, so I had to go only one day this week with Work from Home the other two days.

Writing hasn’t been going well, largely due to the deaths happening in our organisation. Many people I know personally died, and I have so much fear for my friends and family.

SPFBO 7 opens today, and I’m submitting Deathless Ones and keeping all my fingers crossed. I haven’t got around to reading much after I finished the Grishaverse, but I might start something next week or so.

I had dreams about my son on most days, and most of the days I wake up wishing I hadn’t. Anti depressants can only do so much, and several nights I had lain awake wishing I were dead. Some days are harder than others and I know I just need to hang in there on those days, but it is so difficult.

I plan to get my writing back on track by this week. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Cover competition, Covers, Life, Random, WIP, Writing

A Hectic Week

This week had been unlike any other. I had a breakdown at work yesterday and had to leave early. Mental health issues are no fun, and everything is making me more and more convinced that my decision to quit my job next year is the right one. Whether I will be able to generate enough income from my writing or editing is doubtful at the moment, but that is future me’s problem. Present me just wants to get through today.

Highlight of the week was definitely finishing nano with more than a 100k words written. When I started the month, I wasn’t even sure I’d get to that 50k. There was zero motivation to write and none of the projects were doing anything. Instead, I ended up finishing Bleeding Gold, started and finished Colliding Forces and Spell of Gods, started Magic and Mayhem and Memories of Forgotten Dreams, wrote a few Destiel Coda fics, and got Fiery Magic and Death of Summer to really interesting places. If Memories of Forgotten Waves wasn’t consuming me the way it is, I would have explored those further this month.

I got a cover for Bleeding Gold despite swearing up and down I am not going to buy any more covers till January. Everything was on sale and now I have pretty covers for Colliding forces, Spell of Gods, Journey of Ages and Bleeding Gold and one more cover for which I don’t yet have anything, lol.

Getting a cover for Bleeding Gold is making me rethink my publishing plans for next year. Should I just postpone Stolen from a Dream another year and publish Bleeding Gold next year so it will be all vampires next year? I never knew I was going to love writing vampires so much I would end up writing four vampire books. Vampires have never been my favourite thing to read. They still aren’t, but I so enjoy writing them.

Life Remains is still my favourite of all the vampire books I’ve written, though I have no idea why. I want to think it’s because Frederick turned out so different from how I thought he would turn out. I love how each of my vampires are so different and their stories pan out so differently too. Bleeding Gold ended up so fluffy and that was a surprise too. I honestly didn’t think Alvin was going to get a happy ending, though he did deserve one.

Memories of Forgotten Waves took a twist late last night, and now I’m pantsing like mad, trying to figure out where it is going. Despite my love of happy endings, and how I end my books on a positive note, even if there isn’t always an HEA, I really want to end one book with some heartbreak, just to prove to myself I can do it. Is Memories going to be the one? Not with how Aderin is behaving lately, that’s for sure. Ellwood turned out such a sweetie too. Sighs in writer. I love it when my characters turn out different from what I thought they were like, and how they change during the course of the story, but there are times when I wish they wouldn’t surprise me so much.

But that’s what makes this whole thing fun, and them so relatable and worth investing time on.

Deathless Ones made it to the Cover Competition on Allauthor.com. So, if you can all pop over here and vote for it, it’d mean a lot. It is a cover that makes me swoon every time I see it.